The big day is about to arrive — but do yourself and your betrothed a favor by adhering to these seven helpful “I don’ts” before you walk down the aisle.
Sexologist Dr Kat — Kathleen Van Kirk, MA, DHS — says that with these tips, your relationship will thank you later — and you’ll get your marriage started off on the right foot.
Brides and grooms: Seven don’ts for your wedding day
Don’t be a control freak.
Just like the song from Frozen… let it go. You did all the prep you needed to do prior, and hopefully you delegated to a few key people for the day of [the ceremony].
I can guarantee you that things will not go perfectly no matter what you do. Just look at it as character building. After all, this will become your wedding story that you will potentially tell to generations to come. Embrace and accept it as it unfolds.
Don’t be overly caught up in how you look.
Easy to say, but so true. It doesn’t matter what size you are by the time you walk down the aisle or whether or not you have the zit of your life on your face, what matters is the experience of getting married to this fabulous person and sharing it with your loved ones.
People generally don’t remember details about how the bride looks anyway. Most people are caught up in their own experience of the event. Learn to trust in yourself and develop a little self-esteem exactly the way you are on that very special day.
Don’t feel like you have to memorize vows.
Many people feel like the sentiment won’t be genuine unless they recite their own vows from memory. Take the pressure off and put them in a binder for the celebrant or on note cards. What matters is the emotion.
Don’t ignore your new spouse at the reception.
This happens all the time. Everyone vies for the attention of the bride and groom, but it often leaves them separated for much of the night while one of you gets your ear talked off by Uncle Morty, and the other one talks honeymoon details with Aunt Millie for hours.
Stay connected and put up some boundaries. Develop some hand signals between you and your partner when one of you needs to swoop in and save the other from a prolonged chat. Be sure to take some time alone — right after the first dance is usually a good time — so that both of you can feel like you are having this experience together and not separate.
Don’t get drunk.
I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but just in case — just don’t do it. Having a couple of drinks to celebrate and unwind is perfectly acceptable. But you want to be sure you are fully coherent and able to enjoy the entire evening — and next morning — without being sloshed.
Take sips and drink plenty of water in between rounds. And don’t demand that your partner not let you get drunk. You are in charge of you.
Don’t NOT take care of yourself.
And because you are in charge of you, take care of you. Take the morning to be quiet and appreciate the wonder of this fabulous day. Get that massage or pedicure. Do some yoga or breathing exercises. Journal about how you are feeling. Make sure you actually eat and drink fluids throughout the day.
Contrary to popular belief, your wedding day does not have to be stressful. The more centered in yourself you are the more you will be able to share with that soon to be spouse of yours and the less likely you will become bridezilla.
Don’t expect mind-blowing wedding night sex.
The reality is that you’ve likely already sex with one another and you will probably be exhausted from all of the planning and prep before the wedding. Cut yourselves a break.
Yes, some are couples shocked that they don’t/can’t have sex on their wedding night. I believe that’s okay as long as you are staying connected and affectionate otherwise.
In this case, lowering your expectations is a good thing. Don’t expect to have the most intensely fulfilling orgasm ever or to simultaneously orgasm together in wedding night bliss. Just be open and fully present with one another and the right thing will happen.